Gentle Steps to Recovery

There are so many things that can make it harder to recover from a collective trauma, not only because it is difficult to fight and overcome, it is difficult to identify it in the first place.

Recovery from collective trauma

When we face an adversary that can be fought — such as a bushfire or a flood — the collective power of humanity drives the human psyche in a positive direction. Remember with the Australian bushfires over our last summer, we had firefighters fighting for days on end with no sleep. We also had teams of volunteers rallying to cook food and provide support. The human psyche can create an enormous capacity of persistence and commitment when there is an obvious enemy that they can fight.

No wonder our amygdala, our brain’s early warning system, has been working overtime because there has been a genuine threat to our survival. For parents it’s been particularly challenging to stay calm and to hold the safe, big grown-up energy that our children require.

One thing that can lift our sense of wellbeing are spending time with our loved ones, especially our closest family. These are examples of protective factors that help to nurture us when we are experiencing stressors.

Feeling on edge or restless or a little anxious are all signs that our amygdala is working well. We are not safe until we are safe, so it will keep nudging us to keep an eye out, to be cautious to do everything we can to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe.

It can be physically exhausting to exist in this heightened state. Sometimes it will feel like we’re going crazy because it seems to be never-ending. We are not going crazy however, we are learning how to cope with the new uncertain reality the best we can.

Dr Ann S Masten, who is an internationally recognised expert on resilience in human development, has done research around mass trauma and extreme adversities. In her book Ordinary Magic: Resilience in Development she explores research around traumatic events, especially on children. One study was around the Ash Wednesday fires in Australia in 1983. Researchers studied 800 children attending primary schools in the fire exposed region, compared to 725 children from neighbouring regions who had not been impacted directly by the fire.

The fire-exposed children had many more symptoms of trauma at the time of the initial direct exposure, obviously. In the follow-up studies there were some differences between the two groups however they were few and small in magnitude. However, one of the most significant results of the study was the finding that separation from mothers and significant caregivers was a far more important predictor of children’s wellbeing being impacted than the traumatic event itself.

Time and time again in her studies Masten found that resilience is normative, despite the trauma at the time of the event. She also discovered in her research that the potential for long-term significant challenges in children following trauma can be exacerbated by the constant viewing of news around negative events — this will be even more so for children now that we have a 24/7 news cycle and so much coverage on the Internet.

Communities recover together

In the aftermath of disasters or significant traumatic experiences, family is really important and so too is the role of communities in the journey to full recovery. The research shows pretty clearly that how children fare following such events is definitely influenced by the restoring of community functions and structures for the families and communities that they live within.

This restoration process is incredibly important as it brings back a sense of normalcy and indeed with it a sense of increased hope.

Some things to be aware of:

• ‘Situational distress’ is normal. It takes many months for our minds and bodies to return to a sense of safety, even if the threat has been completely removed. This is partly due to neuroplasticity where our brain makes new neural pathways in response to experience, especially when the adversity is over such a long timeframe. Neurobiology explores the concept of the ‘fear circuit’ and so it can be helpful not to have the expectation that we will bounce back to being joyful, happy people quickly.
• Survivor guilt can rear its head during times of recovery as well. Be mindful this is a normal experience if you start to feel guilty that you were one of the lucky ones.
• Recovering is never a single linear experience. Most people recovering from the death of a loved one, even a year or two later, can find they have some good days and some really bad days.
• Copers can crumble. Interestingly some people who have really struggled may recover faster than those who seemed to cope really well. Indeed, some of our strongest, apparently most resilient adults may finally crumble once they realise that the threat is definitely disappearing.
• Significant gender differences can be seen in how we manage grief and trauma. I have worked closely with men following a nasty bushfire and many of them expressed a sense of loss to know how to support their wives who wanted to keep talking about how they felt. Many men process big ugly feelings over time. There are some studies that show that doing a debrief after a traumatic event can actually make some people worse rather than better. Everyone will process this in their own unique way and it is only when there are red flags that we may need to really encourage someone to seek help.
• Relationships matter. One thing that has been shown to help many people in recovery is to prioritise their close relationships, their immediate family and closest friends. Exhaustion is very common following trauma as the emotional toll drains the body as well. Saving your energy for those you love most until you feel you have more energy is a sensible choice.
• When to worry. If at any time you have a cluster of unhelpful behaviours or moods that seem to be taking you away from healing, please seek help immediately. There are helplines and support online if you prefer to remain anonymous, however, a great place to start is with your family doctor. Situational distress can slip into depression on this journey.
• Always keep in mind ‘this too shall pass’. Humans are wired to survive and they have survived hideous experiences with natural disasters, world wars, tsunamis, earthquakes, bushfires and floods. They have also survived many pandemics and plagues in the past.

I would like to end this blog with the words of Brené Brown:

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy — the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Please be gentle with yourself, your kids, your partner, your teachers and everyone in your community.

Image credit: © by kieferpix / Adobe Stock Photos