Soothing the Frightened Butterflies (audio)

Maggie Dent:

Hello and welcome to Soothing the Frightened Butterflies. Sometimes in my work, when I'm working with children, they tell me that their tummy feels like it's full of scared, fluttering, frightened butterflies, and sometimes that feeling makes them feel sick, so I'm going to show you ways that soothe those fluttering, scared, and frightened butterflies so that you can feel calmer and safer. But before I show you the ways to do that, I want you to know that inside every single person and every single child there is something invisible and special, a bit like a secret guardian, and that secret guardian is always trying to keep us safe from being hurt, both emotionally and physically.

This special part of us warns us to be careful, and it warns us by making some sensations in our body, and, for some, it can be like getting goosebumps on our arms; for others, a tingling up the back of her neck; for others, feeling suddenly cold; or for many, like your tummy is full of frightened butterflies, all fluttering at once.

If you ever feel these sensations, please pause and listen to what your secret guardian is trying to tell you. If you take a deep breath when you pause, ask yourself these questions. Am I with someone unsafe? Am I in an unsafe place? Or am I about to do an unsafe thing? When we ask these questions, we're giving our secret guardian a chance to give us some guidance, because it wants us to be careful. Now, this is really a good thing, so if you have these sensations, it may be warning you to be very careful, and then what you need to do is find a safe grownup to take care of you, to protect you, and to keep you safe.

Sometimes our thoughts, rather than people, places, or things, can make us feel frightened and anxious, and they're the ones that we need to calm down, because sometimes our thoughts can make us have the same feelings. Sometimes this can happen at nighttime when we might get frightened of the dark. Even if we have a nightlight or we're sleeping with our brother or our sister, sometimes these thoughts can make our butterflies get fluttering or those other sensations I mentioned.

So what we want to do is teach you ways to soothe the sensations that come from mainly your thoughts when you're actually in a place where you are safe. So I hope you are ready to soothe those frightened butterflies, to make those goosebumps go away, or to warm up those chills that you sometimes feel. So let's begin.

Please make yourself as comfortable as possible. You can either sit or lie down. Just make sure you're comfortable. And then allow your eyes to close over gently and begin by taking three long and slow deep breaths in through your nostrils and hold it and then breathe out through your mouth. So are you ready? Big, long slow breaths in. And then a big breath out. And a second big breath in. Hold and then slowly breathe out through your mouth. And then do a third breath. See if you can take it in even slower and deeper. Breathing in. And hold. And breathing out.

On the next big breath in, I want you to imagine you could breathe in the beautiful blue that's in the sky on a sunny day, in through your nostrils, and to firstly fill up your whole head area. Are you ready? Imagine breathing in that beautiful blue of a blue sky in deeply through your nose and fill up your whole head area, even around your brain, behind your eyes, behind your nose, behind your mouth and then breathe out again.

On the next big breath, when you're breathing in more of the blue from the sky, I want you to fill up your whole chest area. Big breath in. Breathing in. Fill up the whole chest area around your lungs and your heart and inside your rib cage. And when it's all full, gently breathing out.

Then on the third breath, I want you to fill up your whole tummy with this beautiful blue. So breathing deeply in through your nostrils, all the way down through your chest, and fill up your whole tummy, right where all those butterflies live. Blue is a calming colour. Butterflies know this. And breathing out.

And then on the next breath in, as you're breathing inward, I want you to silently say in your mind, in your head, "I am calm." Breathe it really deeply, and then on the outward breath, "I am safe." So are you ready? Another big breath in. As you're breathing in, you're silently using those words, "I am calm." And then outwardly, "I am safe." And then take another big breath. "I am calm." Big breath out. "I am safe." And then do one more all on your own. Off you go.

When we breathe deeply, it is always good for us. It not only gives our brain oxygen, it helps all of us to calm down, and it keeps our unhelpful thoughts from making us frightened and upset. See if you can remember to always immediately take deep breaths as soon as your thoughts start making you worry or feel frightened in an irrational way.

Now, the second thing I would like you to try to soothe those frightened butterflies is to place one of your hands on your tummy. Even if you're sitting, you can still place your hand on your tummy, just below your belly button, and this time when we breathe, I want you to breathe the bright blue sky right into your tummy under your hand, and as you're breathing it down there, I want you to very gently tickle your fingers on your tummy and pretend that you're actually tickling softly those frightened butterflies until they settle and stop fluttering.

So you can soothe them by pretending that you can touch them gently and calm them down. Sometimes just by pretending to tickle our tummy, even if our hand is sitting still, can also work when our eyes are closed and our imagination is being its beautiful, clever self. So, how about we do that one again. Big blue breath down into your tummy, and very gently as it fills up with blue, tickle and soothe the butterflies until they settle. I hope you practise that one, because you can do it at any time. No one even needs to notice.

There is one last thing that I'd like to share with you that can also help. Now, what I need you to do, you can imagine this, or you can do it, is that I want you to point a finger up towards the sky. Then I want you to put your thumb right next to the side of the fingernail. Can you do that? So your thumb is now right next to the fingernail. Now, this is a magic spot that can help us let go of big irrational feelings. So if you tap very gently next to the nail, and those of you who want to to both, you can do that. And at the same time, you can breath in those breaths we had before. "I am calm." Breathing out, "I am safe." Just keep tapping and breathing. Tapping and breathing. Tapping and breathing.

What I really love about the tapping is you can be tapping on that little point with your hand down by your side when you're out in the real world, and nobody will even notice. So remember, tapping and breathing. Well done. When we do things over and over, when we practise things, we become better and better at whatever we do, whether it's learning to run, to paint, to draw, to sing. I wasn't very good at some of those, even when I practised, but I know that I learnt by doing some of these things that I can make myself calmer much more often than I used to.

So, as we come towards the end of Soothing the Frightened Butterflies, I want you to take one more big huge blue breath in through your nose, and as you breathe out, I want you to give a sigh. So, breathing in and then ahhhhh. You can do as many of those as you like when you're by yourself. On the next big blue breath in, as you're breathing in, I want you to start wiggling your fingers and your toes gently, really gently. Then you're breathing out. And on the final big blue breath in, allow yourself to stretch. If you want to yawn. I want you to come back into the now time feeling calm, relaxed, and safe.

So any time that you practise these beautiful little things, you may be able to stop your irrational thoughts from frightening you. You can soothe those anxious and worried moments that sometimes happen when we're kids.  Sometimes it can be a new situation. Maybe we're just beginning a kindy or a school. We may be starting a new school. We may have a new teacher. We may be meeting new friends. Or just before we run a race or do a test or possibly a performance or a concert or even an assembly item. It is normal for us to have a few of the butterflies, but we still need to be able to make sure they don't go so crazy that we're unable to have a go.

And can you remember that you can now teach other kids, maybe your brother or your sister or your mom or your dad or whoever cares for you, these same things, because all of us have times when we have irrational thoughts that make us really worried or anxious or frightened. So take care to listen to your secret guardian. Breathe lots. Put your hand on your tummy. And please be kind to yourself and others and our world. And until next time, that's all for now. Cheerio.